Two Straights And A No-Show Beats A Full Hand; Doesn't It?

The unsigned model release from last night lay on the dining room table as I came down the stairs this morning. It mocked me silently from where I left it, with the white and blue Bic pen laying diagonally on top of it. A loud reminder of what could have been. The lesson learned from my first no-show.

His name is . . . well, never mind. I guess the name doesn’t matter. But he answered my ad for models on Craig’s List. Cute, sexy Latin, 28, tall, nice ass from what I could tell in the pics he sent. We corresponded heavily for a few days. His last e-mail said he would see me tomorrow, meaning yesterday, at 7:00. He was coming up from Miami on Tri-Rail.

7:00 p.m. came and went. Then 7:15.

At first I wondered, maybe the train was delayed.

Then it was 7:30 and I thought maybe he misjudged the train schedule.

7:45. Still nothing.

By 8:00 p.m. I was angry that I had wasted not only my Thursday evening, but my partners as well. All so we could wait for a guy. I could have set up two other models last night but no; I had chosen him. Something in his eyes, his lips, his ass. Maybe I thought I was going to get some. Maybe I thought I would the chance to eat his ass on camera, finger his hole, give the viewer a thrill: Look! You, too, can do this!

I don’t know.

All I know is that at 8:20 when I finally admitted that the little fucker wasn’t going to show up, I sent him an e-mail thanking him for his thoughtfulness in contacting me to let me know he wasn’t coming. Silly and childish, I know. But it made me feel better.

No phone call, no e-mail, nothing. Not even a reply to my e-mail last night apologizing!

But I guess that’s the lesson of the No-Show.

So now I’m thinking that a day or so before the scheduled shoot, I’m sending out an e-mail that not only states the directions and how to get here (which I give automatically anyway) but the phone number (which I give repeatedly) and the warning that if models are going to be more than half an hour late and I have not yet been contacted, they should consider their session cancelled. I don’t think that’s too unreasonable.


This past week wasn’t an entire loss, however. Although I was disappointed that the beefy latin guy I had set up for Tuesday sent an e-mail saying he didn’t think he was the one I was looking for, at least he e-mailed. So in his place, I was able to get J.R.

J.R., originally from Chicago, is a short, humpy, sexy straight guy with a shaved head, naturally smooth body and a nice dick! I must admit, even I was tempted to go down on him. But he wasn’t into the gay scene. He was here just for the money. So, like any professional driven by green, he followed his orders without question and stripped for the camera. While watching a straight DVD, he stroked out a slow, oozing load, cleaned himself off and went merrily on his way.


J.R. was followed by a handsome, tall drink of chocolate brown water on Wednesday night. Sadly another straight guy. And as we settled into the shoot, I heard the simpy voice of the silly blonde girl in the segment: “Ooooooo. I just love big, black cock fucking my tiny, white pussy.”

I paused a moment, uncomfortable with the thought that maybe the guy on our bed would think I was racist. I cleared my throat and looked into his expectant eyes and said, “Ummm. This is just a coincidence. I’m afraid it’s the only straight porn I have.”

To which he laughed, tossed it aside and we got to work.

Both straight guys turned out to be a very pleasant surprise and easy to work with. I would definitely work with them again if the opportunity arises and the money is there. Only thing is that, if I keep getting straight guys to jerk off for me, I’m going to need to get some more straight porn!


All in all, though, two straights and a no-show. Sounds like a poker hand. Doesn't that beat a full hand?

I have to admit that it’s been an interesting journey since the very first baby steps taken this past January and February. Even with the no-show last night and the second model I shot back in January or February who didn’t want to sign the release until he saw the finished product. And even through all the other stumbling blocks, learning HTML, setting up the blog and the Horndawg Productions webpage, I’m still having fun. I’ve been meeting other people in the industry and learning from the things they tell me.

Back then, I remember wondering if this was truly what I wanted to do, if it would change me, worried about how things would be different from that point on. But things will always be different from any point, no matter what it is we do. So I guess the good thing is that although I feel myself growing and evolving, at least it’s not into the sleazy, slimey pornographer I had envisioned. I’m not quite sure what that is I’m evolving into, but at least I’m on that road to self-discovery and doing something.

And as the last model said to me, in a strangely deep conversation when the shoot was over. “You never know who you’re going to meet that will help you take the next step in your destination.”

Pornography, awareness and self-discovery. What strange bedfellows.